I’m trying to gussy up something. Hold on. Alright, done.
Listen, I really want Final Fantasy 14 to not suck. Not because I like Square-Enix nor due to any intrinsic love for the universe, but because I really enjoyed the depth that was fused into the characters, the dialogue and the overall presentation of character although the world. Fourteen has emotive NPCs everywhere; each and every individuals is packaged with very natural and emotive animations that really bring out a sense of life. Coupled with absolutely splendid writing, I can’t help my tugged heart-strings. I expected the game to feel old-school and I got exactly what I wanted. Okay, a bit too much.
I have to ask you to implant an image of a very well-spoken rock into your consciousness. You will find that mental image hard to shake.
Fourteen takes everything you knew about bad execution and gives it an entirely new tier for you to experience. The cursor is not just a cursor; it also contains a literal ton of bricks compacted into each fingertip. It moves like a rock. It really does. You will have nightmares about the mouse experience well after this issue is fixed. Think of a cursor that runs at 5 frames per second and you will probably have a good approximation of how quick it will take you to accidentally alt-tab out and crash the client.
The UI is designed for a console environment. Normally, this seems like a nice gesture, until you realize the following:
- In order to navigate to parts of the menu, you have to enter a menu then find the sub-menu you’re looking for. There are no keybinds to individual sub-menus. Hell, you can’t even bind them. Have fun pressing home or menu every time you want to look at your quest journal.
- You can only have one sub-menu up at a time. No multi-tasking for you.
- You like to turn because yo- oh, wait, mouse control still sucks.
Combat? You will press one button for a while. Really. One. Button. I tried to feel good about it, but I couldn’t help but feel that I was doing the auto part of auto-attacking. Okay, so I got an attack that had some dramatic dimming of lights. I also realized that other people could dim my lights as well and immediately threw an egotistical fit.
I could go on-and-on about how clunky and rock-like the game felt, but you can probably google any more fodder you want to put up against anybody who is trying to make this game sound releasable. Finally, a game with a splendid atmosphere completely shattered by an experience so terrible that even I, the great complainer, never could have expected. Seriously, I got Spanish Inquisition’d by Square-Enix. I really cannot blame anybody who canceled their pre-order. It simply is not done for the PC-market, where players are used to MMOs and will feel absolutely ripped off after they open the box, slide in the disks and fire up an experience that is epic in its sheer magnitude of nagging frustrations.