Chat Roulette – MMOs for ‘normal’ people.

If you don’t know about ChatRoulette, you need to experience it at least once, but do it on a connection that doesn’t suck or you’ll burn out like I did.

Basically, you spin the bottle and get paired up with some other person using the client. Usually, there’s 20k people on at a time, so you are extremely unlikely to run into the same person twice in one session. Of course, people are willing to show their faces, but that’s because you don’t know their user name (Don’t exist), just their face or. . .

Well, the obvious part about CR is that penis is everywhere. If you do not know the male organ by now, you will be well acquainted with its shape, form and varying sizes. I can’t say for sure most of them are loops, because I have managed to strike some reasonably genuine conversation with the cock itself. It’s a shock sight that’s delivered at the ideal pace of a futuristic chain of McDonalds. A genius internet invention that truly captures and fulfills the curiosity of a human by exposing him/herself to other individuals in a similar situation with vastly differing appearances, mannerisms and other such intriguing nonsense.

Really, the best part is that it will give a glimpse into the vacant, soulless eyes of every person you’ve ever played a MMO with. A smile there is about as frequent as a pair of naked breasts. (If you’re a male, that’s how you win CR.) It’s a very poignant picture of how real people look like when they do whatever it is they do on their computers. It’s as if these people are so used to being stoic at their computer, they have forgotten that they look like empty husks when they’re typing.

Sadly, I only had about a night of fun. My chat delay is about 1-3k milliseconds and my video quality, both up and downstream, are so laggy that I can’t actually make coherent responses to most of what I encounter. Still, I managed to give them the good ol’ Petulant Pioneering sarcasm before they clicked “next” for mashed F9. If there’s one thing about CR that’s positive in my horrendous experience, it’s knowing that I am substantially more verbose and creative with my English skills than the CR status quo. (Isn’t saying much, but I was certain that I was going to run into an equally illustrative pair of hands.)